Site: CotH,
Section: Hackery,
Page: Standing Order 0.
| 0.0: |
Preamble |
| 0.0.0 | There shall be a Standing Order 0. It shall explain a lot. There may be a definitive version, that shall be an entirely accurate reflection of reality (or vice versa). This isn't it. |
| 0.0.0.0 | The following shall always be right: |
| 0.0.0.0.0 | Simon Virr |
| 0.0.0.0.1 | Jack Welsby |
| 0.0.0.0.2 | Melanie Mehew |
| 0.0.0.0.3 | Former members of the General Office Residents' Committee who are also hacks |
| 0.0.0.0.4 | Members of the General Office Residents' Committee |
| 0.0.0.0.5 | Former Treasurers who are also hacks |
| 0.0.0.0.6 | Steering Committee |
| 0.0.0.1 | Standing Order 0.0.0.2 shall not apply during a cross-campus election, when the current Senior Returning Officer shall always be the most right. |
| 0.0.0.1.1 | The Senior Returning Officer shall be entitled to have people who refuse to accept Standing Order 0.0.0.1 assassinated, provided this can be afforded within the elections budget. |
| 0.0.0.2 | Should two of the above be both right about the same thing in a mutually contradictory way, the one higher up the list shall be right in a more fundamental way. |
| 0.0.0.2.0 | The more fundamentally right solution to a problem may not, in a fundamentally wrong world, necessarily be the one that should be used. |
| 0.0.0.2.1 | However, it would be nice if it was. |
| 0.0.0.3 | People who are always right shall be eligible to form sub-committees that make decisions. Others may only form sub-committees to avoid decisions. |
| 0.1: |
General Office Residents' Committee |
| 0.1.0 | There shall be a General Office Residents' Committee, consisting of: |
| 0.1.0.0 | The Clerk of the Union |
| 0.1.0.1 | The Senior Returning Officer |
| 0.1.0.2 | Other members of Steering Committee that may be co-opted as necessary. |
| 0.1.0.3 | One or more non-sabbatical officers. |
| 0.1.0.4 | Up to two other members of the Union, who may not be Senior DSU Reps. Unless they're good Senior Reps as defined by the Committee. |
| 0.1.1 | The Committee shall meet at any time Dunelm House is open, and may meet at other times if this is necessary. |
| 0.1.2 | No notice is required for meetings of the committee, however, it is considered polite. |
| 0.1.3 | The Committee shall keep minutes of its meetings if it feels that they will be useful. |
| 0.1.4 | The Committee may not exactly meet in closed session. |
| 0.1.5 | The Committee shall have the following responsibilities: |
| 0.1.5.0 | Running the Union |
| 0.1.5.1 | Complaining about Joint Committee |
| 0.1.5.1.0 | Should Joint Committee not be doing anything to complain about (and indeed, having been abolished, this is quite likely), the name of a different committee may and should be read as substituted here and throughout this Standing Order. |
| 0.1.5.1.1 | Should additional Committees require complaining about, the General Office Residents' Committee may do so at its discretion. Grounds for complaint shall include, but not be limited to: |
| 0.1.5.1.1.0 | Incompetence |
| 0.1.5.1.1.1 | Wrongness |
| 0.1.5.1.1.2 | Maliciousness |
| 0.1.5.1.1.3 | Unaccountability |
| 0.1.5.1.1.4 | Being unnecessary |
| 0.1.5.2 | Complaining about Council in general |
| 0.1.5.3 | Boosting Riverside Café income |
| 0.1.5.4 | Drinking in Kingsgate |
| 0.1.5.5 | Liasing with Steering regarding Rusty Bolt Awards |
| 0.1.5.6 | Wishing the printer and photocopier were more reliable |
| 0.1.6 | The Committee shall be deemed to have delegated its responsibilities and powers to all members currently in the General Office at the time the responsibilities need to be carried out. |
| 0.1.7 | Should members of the committee disagree upon a course of action, and both are equally right, the following methods may be used to make a decision. |
| 0.1.7.0 | Scissors, paper, stone. |
| 0.1.7.1 | Single Transferable Vote |
| 0.1.8 | The Committee may change this standing order if it feels like it without the need for Council to rubber stamp the decision. |
| 0.1.9 | The Committee may form sub-committees to deal with specific matters. |
| 0.2: |
Procedure for changes to dates for Union Meetings |
| 0.2.0 | The Joint Committee of DSU and the Colleges shall request that the Steering Committee moves the date of a UGM or Council either forwards or backwards by one day. This shall only be done if the following conditions are met: |
| 0.2.0.0 | The meeting has been publicised on the Steering website and in paperwork for months. |
| 0.2.0.1 | One or more Senior DSU Representatives were intending to go out drinking that night, and can think of a better reason. |
| 0.2.0.2 | In exceptional cases, the previous requirement may be waived by Act of Parliament. |
| 0.2.1 | Steering Committee shall consider the request, and provided that a suitable alternative date and venue exists, shall move the meeting. |
| 0.2.2 | A member of Joint Committee shall then be selected by that Committee to take one or more of the following actions. |
| 0.2.2.0 | Complain that their college has a big social event on that night and request that the meeting be moved back. |
| 0.2.2.1 | Not notice the change until a day before it is due to happen, and then complain that Steering had not kept them properly informed. |
| 0.2.3 | Steering may then move the meeting to a third date, in which case the procedure above shall be repeated. |
| 0.2.4 | Steering will wish they'd just ignored Joint Committee and kept the meeting where it was. |
| 0.2.5 | The General Office Residents' Committee shall complain about the ability of certain members of Joint Committee. |
| 0.3: |
General Office Filing System |
| 0.3.0 | For historical reasons, the general office filing system shall be pseudo-randomly generated on a partial first-in, first-out basis, in a multiple user environment. |
| 0.3.0.0 | Following changes in legislation that mean that the above filing system is covered by the Data Protection Act, the General Office Residents' Committee shall investigate other good reasons to keep this filing system. |
| 0.3.1 | Important electronic information shall be given obscure filenames and placed in a logical but strange directory to increase security. |
| 0.3.2 | Minutes of Joint Committee shall be (should any exist) kept very carefully. Should none exist, Standing Order 0.2.5 shall apply |
| 0.3.3 | Minutes of closed session Joint Committee shall be treated with extreme suspicion and shall be independently verified where possible. |
| 0.4: |
Sensitive Information |
| 0.4.0 | The General Office Residents' Committee shall be responsible for deciding which items of information are sensitive. |
| 0.4.0.0 | Confidential information is covered by the Confidentiality Policy, which supersedes this Standing Order provided the information is and should be confidential. |
| 0.4.0.1 | The definitive version of this Standing Order is sensitive. |
| 0.4.0.2 | This Standing Order shall supersede standing orders relating to closed meetings where the meeting was not closed for a good reason. |
| 0.4.1 | Sabbatical Officers of the Union, but not of other Unions, shall be allowed access to this information, unless: |
| 0.4.1.0 | The Committee doesn't like them. |
| 0.4.1.1 | The Committee feels they shouldn't know. |
| 0.4.1.2 | They've said they don't want to know. |
| 0.4.1.3 | The Committee believes they would say that if they knew what it was they don't want to know. |
| 0.4.2 | Other members of the Union must have a good reason for requiring sensitive information to receive it. Good reasons shall include, but not be limited to: |
| 0.4.2.0 | They already know. |
| 0.4.2.1 | They think they know, and it will cause less damage to let them know rather than continue as they are. |
| 0.4.2.2 | They don't have a clue and the Committee feels sorry for them. |
| 0.4.2.3 | They need the information to do their job properly. |
| 0.4.2.3.0 | Unless their job involves damage to the General Office Residents' Committee or any of its members. |
| 0.4.2.3.0.0 | Or the student body as a whole. |
| 0.4.2.3.0.0.0 | Even if it would be accidental. |
| 0.4.3 | Wherever possible, as little sensitive information as is necessary should be revealed. |
| 0.5: |
Motions |
| 0.5.0 | The following words shall never be used in motions. |
| 0.5.0.0 | Feasible |
| 0.5.0.1 | Press |
| 0.5.0.2 | All |
| 0.5.0.2.0 | Unless the entirity of reality is being referred to. |
| 0.5.0.2.0.0 | We really mean this one |
| 0.5.0.2.0.0.0 | It should probably apply to fully as well. |
| 0.5.0.2.0.0.0.0 | Actually, best if you just don't use it ever. |
| 0.5.0.3 | Encourage |
| 0.5.0.4 | Free |
| 0.5.0.5 | Actively |
| 0.5.0.6 | Most |
| 0.5.0.7 | Similar |
| 0.5.0.8 | Co-ordinate |
| 0.5.0.8.0 | Probably okay if you're talking about a map. |
| 0.5.0.9 | Particularly |
| 0.5.1 | The following phrases should never be used in the discussion of motions. |
| 0.5.1.0 | But it'll just waste time. |
| 0.6: |
Avoiding decisions |
| 0.6.0 | Should it become necessary to take an extremely long time to come to the original and obvious conclusion, then it may be sent to the Internal Appeals Tribunal. Should this committee come to a different and clearly unjustifiable conclusion then they shall be regarded as missing the point. |
| 0.6.0.0 | Any Internal Appeals Tribunal that can't spell its own name correctly cannot be relied on to come to the correct answer either. |
| 0.6.1 | Other committees may be created on a temporary basis for the same reason. They should not persist longer than is necessary. |
| 0.6.1.0 | And don't think changing your name backwards and forwards every couple of years will help. |
| 0.7: |
Valid Reasons |
| 0.7.0 |
Valid reasons for leaving Council or UGM |
| 0.7.0.0 | The following (only) shall be considered valid reasons for leaving Council or UGM |
| 0.7.0.0.0 | Earthquake, nuclear war, flood (of sufficient size to threaten the dryness of the venue) or other appropriate natural or unnatural disaster. |
| 0.7.0.0.1 | Severe illness |
| 0.7.0.0.2 | The meeting has finished. |
| 0.7.0.0.3 | The meeting (Council only) is needed to be inquorate. |
| 0.7.0.0.4 | If, and only if it will not affect the quoracy status of the meeting, the leaver being sufficiently apathetic as to be more of a hindrance than anything else. For reasons of practicality, the judgement of this shall be made on the assumption that Council members are more helpful than they are. |
| 0.7.0.1 | The General Office Residents Committee shall have the right to complain about the lack of commitment of any member of Council who leaves a meeting without one of the above conditions being satisfied. This right may be retained anyway if only the last one applies. |
| 0.7.1 |
Valid reasons for referring business to future meetings. |
| 0.7.1.0 | The following shall be the only reasons considered valid. |
| 0.7.1.0.0 | The item would genuinely benefit from people having more time to research the underlying facts |
| 0.7.1.0.1 | The item is a policy renewal coming to Council for the first time and must be referred to be amended. |
| 0.7.1.0.1.0 | Referring policy renewals for reasons other than wishing to amend it or reasons covered elsewhere here shall not be considered acceptable. |
| 0.7.1.0.1.0.0 | Yes, that means you, Council, for referring policy renewals en bloc to UGM. |
| 0.7.1.0.1.0.1 | And back again, as it happened. |
| 0.7.1.0.2 | The item is full of incredibly complex constitutional stuff (or anything else only comprehensible to people who are always right) and has been sent to UGM, and so should be referred to Council where it can be rubber-stamped by people who pretend to understand it instead of people who admit they don't. |
| 0.7.1.0.2.0 | It shall not be considered acceptable for Council to refer boring stuff to UGM. |
| 0.7.1.0.2.0.0 | See 0.7.1.0.1.0.0. |
| 0.7.1.0.2.0.1 | Nothing in this standing order shall be interpreted in any way to prevent UGM from referring boring stuff to Council. |
| 0.7.1.0.3 | The item needs to be held up as long as possible to prevent a catastrophe. |
| 0.7.1.0.3.0 | First UGM of Epiphany term 2065 seems about right. |
| 0.8: |
Interpretation |
| 0.8.0 | This Standing Order shall be interpreted by people who are always right. |
| 0.8.1 | This Standing Order shall be interpreted correctly, which shall only be de minimis by coincidence. |
| 0.8.2 | Other standing orders shall be interpreted using the following criteria: |
| 0.8.2.0 | Can they be interpreted correctly. If there is no correct interpretation, the following may be used (in no particular order). |
| 0.8.2.1 | Can they be interpreted to mean what is wanted to happen. |
| 0.8.2.2 | Can they be interpreted to mean what actually happens. |
| 0.8.2.3 | Can they be interpreted to mean what the original writer meant. |
| 0.8.2.4 | Can they be interpreted to mean what Council thought the original writer meant. |
| 0.8.2.5 | Can they be interpreted to mean what the original writer thought that they meant. |
| 0.8.2.6 | Can they be interpreted in a way that won't get appealed. |
| 0.9: |
Definitions |
| 0.9.0 | Good Senior DSU Rep: Someone who fulfils the following criteria: |
| 0.9.0.0 | Is nice to Steering and accepts that they are right. |
| 0.9.0.1 | Doesn't say that something is a bad idea when they really mean it would be too much work for them. |
| 0.9.0.2 | Tries to get people from their college to come to UGMs, protests, vote in elections, etc. |
| 0.9.0.2.0 | People other than their exec when they think they might need the extra votes, that is. |
| 0.9.0.3 | Represents their college and not themselves at Council and Joint Committee |
| 0.9.0.4 | Didn't become Senior Rep just to get on their college exec. |
| 0.9.1 | Militant: Term of abuse used by people when other people say that something should be done about this and are willing to do something. |
| 0.9.2 | Packed: Term for a meeting (usually UGM) at which noticeably more than the usual amount of people turned up and the vote went the wrong way. |
| 0.9.2.0 | The vote going the wrong way does not necessarily have to be caused by any of the additional people. |
| 0.9.2.1 | And yes, it is possible for Council to pack a UGM |
| 0.9.3 | Mob rule: Lots of packed meetings. |
| 0.9.4 | The fair and just democratic process: Term for a meeting (usually UGM) at which noticeably more than the usual amount of people turned up and the vote went the right way. |
| 0.9.5 | Divisive: Something that Joint Committee disagrees with. |
| 0.9.6 | Consultation: Listening politely and then doing what you originally intended to do. |
| 0.9.7 | Appearing Reasonable: Agreeing with whatever the University says so that they will listen to us. Opposite of Militant. |
| 0.9.8 | Irresponsible: Doing what the students want, or at least asking them to find out. |
| 0.9.9 | Representative Democracy: People elect a representative who then asks them what they think and represents that. |
| 0.9.9.0 | Not to be confused with Elected Dictatorship, where people elect a representative who decides what they need and represents that. |
| 0.9.10 | Controversial: See Divisive |
| 0.10: |
Sub Committees of the General Office Residents Committee |
| 0.10.0 |
Policy Sub-committee |
| 0.10.0.0 | This committee shall consist of all non-Steering members of the Committee. It shall liaise with the Steering Committee only as far as is necessary to ensure compliance of its activities with the Standing Orders. It shall ensure separation of activities to the extent necessary to avoid compromising Steering impartiality. |
| 0.10.0.1 | The sub-committee shall be responsible for: |
| 0.10.0.1.0 | Ensuring that policy represents the views of the student body |
| 0.10.0.1.1 | Ensuring that policy is acted upon. |
| 0.10.0.1.1.0 | Probably by doing it themselves. |
| 0.10.0.2 | The sub-committee may appoint other members of the Union as assistants to the committee. The names of these shall not be disclosed on the Steering noticeboard. The existence of assistants shall be sensitive information. |
| 0.10.1 |
Elections Sub-Committee |
| 0.10.1.0 | The Senior Returning Officer may constitute the Elections Sub-Committee from any members of the General Office Residents Committee as are necessary. |
| 0.10.1.1 | The Elections Sub-Committee shall be responsible for the assassination, imprisonment, interrogation and surveillance of candidates as may become necessary in the interests of the Union. |
| 0.10.1.2 | The Elections Sub-Committee shall be provided with a wood chipper for the purposes of easier imprisonment of candidates. |
| 0.10.2 |
Pizza Sub-Committee |
| 0.10.2.0 | The pizza sub-committee shall be responsible for the procurement and distribution of said foods in situations where the work of the full committee requires it. |
| 0.10.2.1 | Meetings of the pizza sub-committee shall be considered meetings of the full committee, except that only business relating to the responsibilities of the committee shall be discussed. |
| 0.10.2.2 | The committee shall meet as necessary, and when called by the full committee. |
Site: CotH,
Section: Hackery,
Page: Standing Order 0.